Your well-being depends on knowing the difference — “I never saw a single sign,” said no one who has ever been in an abusive relationship. Instead, we who have had our heart broken by an abuser have boatloads of red flags we can look back on, which is quite the ass-kicking to our self-esteem when we realize what…

Aw, did I hurt the narcissists’ feelings again? — There is always the one. Out of the hundreds of comments I get on my many articles about narcissistic abuse, there is inevitably the one commenter who feels compelled to swoop in and… wait for it… Defend narcissists. It’s always a guy. Draw your own conclusions about that. I certainly…

It’s not what you think — Narcissists are a weird breed. And by weird, I mean viperous, ruthless, and evil. And by breed, I mean empathy-void soul-sucking vampires. When you first meet them, you believe you’ve found the One. They check off every box on your list of “perfect mate.” They put you on a pedestal…

Life would have been so much easier now had I known then — I’ve worked since seventh grade. Don’t worry, I wasn’t breaking any child labor laws. I wasn’t toiling or breaking my back or supporting my family. But I did work. I got up at 4 a.m. every morning to receive the stack of newspapers I’d have to put together before biking…

The answer may surprise you — One of the questions I get asked the most from people who are healing after a relationship with a narcissist is, How am I ever going to trust someone again? It’s a valid question, especially considering the damage narcissists do and the pain they inflict. But it’s the wrong question. Let me explain… When you’ve been in a…

And how these myths enable abusers to continue their abuse — Somewhere out there right now is an abuser who is abusing (quite a lot of them, actually) and getting away with it. Not because they’re so good at hiding it from the outside world, but because the outside world is enabling them. Because of the myths surrounding what abuse and…

Hey Universe, mind backing the fuck up for a sec? — Mkay, Universe. Are you enjoying this? I mean, I’ve been an excellent student of yours. Whenever you throw those curveballs, I keep hitting them out of the park. Whether it’s something with my narcissistic ex, my abusive father, my health (menopause, really?), my kids, my financial situation — you know…

And they will break it, guaranteed — “I’m totally fine and feel great!” Said no one ever after separating from a narcissist. Why is it that some couples can break up and still be friends? Why is it that some couples who get divorced can do so amicably? Why is it that some couples can continue to…

Or thinking about it — It’s often said, “If you think being married to a narcissist was bad, wait until you divorce one.” Who said that? Me. Yours truly. Because unfortunately, I know. Also unfortunate, I learned this the hard way. If divorcing a narcissist were a class, I failed it with a big fat…