Published inThe Virago·PinnedMember-onlyShit You Have to Unlearn After Narcissistic AbuseGet ready for a major rewiring — Loving a narcissist is a one-way street to Crazytown. When you live there, the rules are different than the outside world. You’re different. What used to make sense, doesn’t. Two plus two no longer equals four. Or does it? You can’t remember. It’s hard to think clearly. …Narcissistic Abuse5 min readNarcissistic Abuse5 min read
Published inAbout Me Stories·PinnedMember-onlyAbout Me — Suzanna QuintanaI dedicate all my words to those from my past who want me to stop talking. — I used to be a good girl, otherwise known as a girl who only had nice things to say about the men around her and if she didn’t have anything nice to say then she better keep that shit to herself. I also was a tomboy, backyard pool diving champion…Life Lessons4 min readLife Lessons4 min read
Published inThe Virago·4 days agoMember-onlyWho’s the Narcissist and Who’s the Victim? Here’s How to TellAnd the Oscar goes to… — Any time we went out in public or had people over to our house, it was like prepping for a performance. Along with clothes and makeup, I had to put my face on. My game face. Whatever happened behind closed doors with my husband, whatever was said in the car…Narcissistic Abuse5 min readNarcissistic Abuse5 min read
Published inThe Virago·Nov 4Member-onlyIf I Had Been a Better Daughter, Then Would My Father Have Loved Me?The question I keep asking even when I already know the answer — I am a 55-year-old woman. Unless my father is around. Then I’m a 12-year-old girl and a rebellious teenager and a young mother in my twenties and a woman approaching forty, practicing and polishing my good daughter skills in the hope this time he will give me what I’ve been…Father And Daughter4 min readFather And Daughter4 min read
Published inThe Shortform·Oct 23Member-onlyNo More Mrs. Nice GirlSorry guys — I was raised to be a nice girl by a father who was anything but. He taught me: Nice girls only have nice things to say. Especially to the men around them. Nice girls are nice even when someone is not nice to them. Nice girls smile on demand. Nice…Feminism1 min readFeminism1 min read
Published inThe Virago·Oct 16Member-onlyWhat All Women of Any Age Need to Quit Right NowOur mental health depends on it — This isn’t a “Women Over Fifty” kind of piece since wherever a gal is on the spectrum of life shouldn’t factor into the rules she plays by. Why did I have to wait until my fifties, for example, to be told it’s okay to say no and put myself first…Feminism8 min readFeminism8 min read
Published inThe Virago·Oct 5Member-onlyWhy It’s Okay to Let Some Days SuckIn defense of shitty days — Was I crying or sweating? In for my weekly infrared sauna session, I lay on my back with my eyes closed and released the day through my pores. Nothing major had happened since waking up that morning. I was tired as usual from another 3 a.m. …Mental Health5 min readMental Health5 min read
Published inThe Virago·Sep 28Member-onlyI Asked “Where Are All the Man-Hating Women At?” and Men in the Comments Let Me KnowApparently, not only am I blind but I have a cucumber up my asshole — I’m the problem. At least that’s what I’m being told on a recent article I wrote asking where were all the man-hating women everyone was talking about. We’re definitely not in any short supply of accusing women of hating men. I’ve been on that list too many times to count…Feminism7 min readFeminism7 min read
Published inThe Virago·Sep 12Member-onlyWhen Dealing with a Narcissist, Don’t Make the Mistakes I DidUse my hindsight as your foresight — Look no further. Your poster girl for making every mistake with a narcissist is here. Regret aside, I might as well start with the biggest mistake of them all, the pinnacle of errors that at a young age kicked off my pattern of loving abusive men: I believed everyone was…Narcissistic Abuse6 min readNarcissistic Abuse6 min read
Published inThe Virago·Sep 10Member-onlyI was Trained from an Early Age to Accept Men’s Abuse — It All Started with a GrasshopperThough it’s not the bug’s fault — Before third grade, I wasn’t afraid of boys. I saw them all as extended versions of my little brother — simple-minded, guileless creatures who were nice to have around for a push when I wanted to swing to the sky, or if I was short a player for Parcheesi. Otherwise…Feminism4 min readFeminism4 min read